Offline online

She mused about how many different ways there were to keep in touch these days.

Especially online - one-to-one and one-to-one-but-can-be-seen-by-many. 

Which is why the message is particularly clear when no means seem to "reach" someone.

Oh well.

The Time Paradox

Memories...

You think of some and remark, "Oh my! I remember like it was yesterday!"

You think of some others and say, "Wow. Seems like ages ago."

The former maybe (chronologically) older than the ones in the latter category. 

Time can speed away, and crawl miserably. At the same time.

The Window Pane

You're driving a car.

Or simply sitting by the window looking out at the garden. 

You suddenly notice that the window pane is dirty - it has all these smudges.

And then you realize it. If you're too busy focusing on the smudge, then you really don't see where you're going; you cannot appreciate the beauty of the blooms. And if you're focusing on the road ahead, or the lovely sight of the flowers in that garden - you don't really notice those smudges on the pane; you don't quite "see" them.

You can focus only on one thing at a time. You always have that choice. 

So, what are you looking at - the smudge, or something beyond?

Office Bus-Ride

Most people I know complain of travelling to the work place. It’s too long. The roads are bad (no, positively horrible). The drivers are rash.

 

Ads?

The advertisements I get to see these days appall me. I mean, seriously, WHO comes up with junk like these. These are my (recent) picks!

Presenting to you..."In Pursuit of Crappyness"! …



Just Like That

Passive Aggression

Dis-tress-ing!

That time of the year is soon approaching…when I am tempted to do it.

There’s something about the heat that makes me want to. But for some reason I end up putting it off. Only for a while, though…eventually I do end up doing it! But this time, I’m hoping it’ll be different (and I’ll persist).

Yours Virtually…

Can you really know what farming is like by merely playing FarmVille on FB?

Or what it really feels like to be in involved in the ‘underworld’ – risking your lives, committing crimes day and night - by playing Mafia Wars?

Or building and managing a city playing CityVille?

To run a cafe with a little of Cafe World, perhaps?

An emphatic NO, is it not?

Then WHY, for the love of God, do we have THIS now?!! (More on that.)

Intonations - Part 2: Write right?

‘Sounding right’ may be easier when voice/speech is involved (of course, at its best along with the visible part - body language). But what of it in written communication? Not too hard to achieve now, is it not?

Gone are the days when only words were used to convey exactly what we wanted; when the choice of words, length of sentences, syntax, punctuations and the like were sufficient to capture and carry our emotions/feelings (“tone”) to the reader. With the advent of internet, instant messengers/chats, SMS, etc. we’ve conveniently added, modified, re-invented and continue to enrich our lexicon.

Have(n't) you noticed? - #2

Mallu Christians in (Mallu) Movies

A thought just crossed my mind the other day – regarding how achayans and achayathis are portrayed on celluloid in Malayalam movies. Sure, there are the quintessential elements - rubber plantations (or rubber estates, as they're popularly called), affluence (as a result of those estates), a successfully-running family enterprise, joint family setting (replete with the son-in-laws, atleast three or four generations, and a few family members in the US who are home on vacation), a Father (pallile Achan) and church-related activities (which can include X’mas celebrations/Palli Perunnals), the merry-making and jolly times. Speaking of which - any such celebration is incomplete without the… yes…‘cheers’! It is a scene that will invariably be there, we’ve seen ‘em many no. of times, in many forms, but it is entertaining nevertheless!

Grandfathers, sons, sons-of-sons, the ungles (family friends) and sometimes even the kaaryasthan (a person who looks after the affairs of the family) sit around in the verandah/courtyard/living room during evenings/nights (usually before dinner) and lose all their inhibitions (well, almost). A setting in which the patriarch in the family steps down from the Ivory Tower, loses some of his willful authoritarian and disciplinarian nature and allows jokes about himself (of course, you dare not misunderstand and over-step the limits!). Other things that complete the ensemble are:

• Men who are slightly embarrassed to drink in front of their father/elders (may even include one younger member of the family who has been initiated into drinking lately and has not ‘had it’ with his family yet). He’s gently prodded (or even violently encouraged!) to go ahead sans discomfort. Beverages can range from patta chaarayam to scotch and whisky.
•  Discussions regarding business, enemies, and family members are a given (this bit depends a lot on the story of the movie and where this scene is placed in the narrative). Business discussions are more of ‘status updates’ and future ventures (because generally each member of the family owns/is responsible for a certain area of business); enemies are linked to business or (past) family feuds; family member discussions involve marriage proposals for those in the “marriageable age bracket”, discussions on kids – their education/achievements, some ‘secrets’ or leg-pulling – all this is usually the part that’s meant as lighter moments in this scene/movie.
• Singing and/or dancing is optional. 

If you’re wondering what the rest of the family is doing…

Have(n't) you noticed? - #1

Mallus and the 'Vo'!
Mallu sterotypes include people who say “YEM BEEE YAY” (instead of “EM-BE-AY”, the way it’s supposed to be pronounced). But there’s something else I’ve noticed too. Well, I don’t know if it’s only a Mallu phenomenon (others can substantiate). Anyways, as far as I know we have a problem with ‘vo’. And by that, I mean English words that start with a ‘v’ followed by an ‘o’.

It’s as good as the ‘v’ not being there (or rather, it ‘remaining silent’).

Have(n’t) you noticed how it’s always ‘Odafone Comedy Stars’ ; or come election time candidates are literally begging for ‘otes’ (ottu…as in a popular song from the movie Classmates – Veeshana party-kk-ottilla; tholkkana party-kk-ottila…!); or how bad the power situation is, that most of the times there is no ‘oltage’???

Other V’s are fine, though – we have no qualms in saying Vicks or Video, the way it’s meant to be said!

The paradox, though, is that we start adding the ‘v’ sound to words that begin with a ‘o’ sound. It’s wokay, and wolright (alright), and not to forget a certain Biology teacher: GONOPHORE - Gee-Woh-Yen-Woh-Pee-Hech-Woh-Aar-Eee! ;-)

Dangerously low...

... that's how people today prefer to wear their pants (boys/men and girls/women alike). Or should I make that "ridiculously low" ? I'm no fashion freak and don't really care about how people 'choose' to dress. But recently I happened to see a guy that had me going in splits (well, inside... I couldn't laugh out that loud in public transport - more specifically a bus).

Here I was travelling by bus, on my way to the railway station from office. This area where my office is, is no metro or nothing nearly 'yo'. A remote area, which maybe called more orthodox than modern. At a stop a few guys got onto the bus. College students, perhaps. And incidentally I happened to look at them. I almost grinned, and then caught myself. I looked around... Did no one see? Did no one notice? The lady next to me was as amused as I was. Ah, someone who shares my views. She had this smile she was trying hard to control and kept looking at a fellow a couple of times. Then she turned her attention back to the child on her lap. 

There was this guy among the lot who had his pants real low. And I mean real low. Every now and then he'd touch his rear end just to make sure that the pants were at the 'right' place. 'Right' being a point just below where his shirt ended and his butt-crack began (I presume).  I don't know why he was so worried - he also had a belt on, to hold his pant at that precarious position! He looked weird, to say the least. His pants were all crinkled at the bottom, near his shoes - like he was wearing a churidar; the part that is the crotch was hanging below, nothing there to 'fill' in the space. I don't know what the guy was trying to pull off. A "cool" look? Trying to show he was the "dude"? I wished he might've observed his pals. They were wearing it low alright, but knew how. 

Going onto another (kinda related) incident. We had this 'movie spoof' contest at our office. A team was performing brilliantly on the movie '3 Idiots' by fitting that story onto 'Life at Infy' and our DC (to be more particular).  Until the point a joke on 'bums' came around. The guy concerned was acting out a 'bum injury'. And yes, he had his pants low. The result? As he turned around and continued acting he (intentionally or unintentionally) flashed his blue chaddi (underwear), and a lil' more, at all of us, and continued to do so for a while. The audience gasped collectively and looked at each other, embarrassed. 

Now, call me old-fashioned, but I don't know why people have to wear their pants low to make some kind of supposed 'fashion statement'. I know that low-waist jeans have been in vogue for some time now. Maybe those with washboard or flat abs want to show it off. Their wish...totally. I just wished I didn't have to see what they have (or don't have!) underneath it. You know, there's a reason why Sunny Deol said 'Yeh andar ki baat hai' in those Lux undergarment ads. And I wished it just stayed there!

English is a funny language… (II)

It’s estival time. I wake up to the tweedle I’m used to at this time of the year. I rub my eyes, remove the rheum, pandiculate, accompanied by the normal oscitance that goes with it. I get up and look out the window. The sight is pulchritudinous! I thrum on the window sill and look back at the bed. I see my hubby fast asleep. I feel the urge to wake him up. And what better way, than to osculate! He smiles…and I know he’s awake now, alright.

*****

Confused? That’s how English can be. There are pretty complex words for simple things/actions/words, you begin to imagine how difficult it’s gonna get if we all started speaking like this. The above para in ‘normal’ English would read something like this:

“It’s summer. I wake up to the chirping I’m used to at this time of the year. I rub my eyes, remove that dried thing near my eyes, stretch, accompanied by the normal yawn that goes with it. I get up and look out the window. The sight is beautiful! I drum idly on the window sill and look back at the bed. I see my hubby fast asleep. I feel the urge to wake him up. And what better way, than to kiss! He smiles…and I know he’s awake now, alright.”

(You be the judge…which one was better?)

Jokes apart, I’ve seen quite a few people write like this. And by ‘this’ I mean a “thesaurasized” version of what they had in mind. They feel that using high-funda English words in their narrative makes quite the ‘impression’. Frankly speaking, seeing such ‘attempts’ at seeming good at English disgusts me no end. These are the kind of people who (I believe) are ready with a thesaurus or MS Word at their disposal. Write a plain English word, “right click - synonyms - select”… and they think they’re good to go. Who are they trying to fool? I mean, especially when your friends/acquaintence know how good a vocab you actually have, or know your propensity towards books/reading…. I wonder. Anyways, seeing such articles/write-ups cracks me up and I have a good time reading those, especially when words have been used in contexts in which they are not usually used! (Sorry, can’t think of an example now!). Writing well is more than using complex/complicated words… it’s an art. Something that won’t stop at just knowing (or mugging up) diffcult words and their meanings. And yes, sometimes saadgi mein sundarta hai (there’s beauty in simplicity).

Another thing that amuses me is the Dictionary. Yes, it’s been a good friend of mine (and many more, I’m sure). We look up words we don’t know and it enlightens us. But on the flip side, the simplest of things appear most complicated. One of the things I occasionally do to amuse myself (when I’m bored) is to find the definitions of common English words (and yea, this began way before Aamir and Omi in ‘3 Idiots’ and the whole ‘machine’ definition thing). If you don’t believe me, sample a couple:

Eye - the organ of sight, in vertebrates typically one of a pair of spherical bodies contained in an orbit of the skull and in humans appearing externally as a dense, white, curved membrane, or sclera, surrounding a circular, colored portion, or iris, that is covered by a clear, curved membrane, or cornea, and in the center of which is an opening, or pupil, through which light passes to the retina.
Now you begin to wonder why poets and those in love sing praises of those pair of ‘organs’!


Walk - to advance or travel on foot at a moderate speed or pace; proceed by steps; move by advancing the feet alternately so that there is always one foot on the ground in bipedal locomotion and two or more feet on the ground in quadrupedal locomotion.
What an explanation! ;-) Kinda reminds me of manuals. Lol!

Try out more for yourself. There… one more thing you may do when you’re bored. :-P

English is a funny language… (I)

… and it gets funnier by the day! Most of us have come across forward e-mail messages or newpaper articles on why English is a funny language. Recently I happened to come across new words that have been coined, which only confirm that. Presenting to you a few words that are the result of man’s irresistable and insatiable tendency to make it ‘easier’ to communicate (read ‘coming up with new words that sound funny or are hard to remember’)!

Technology (and the internet, in specific) has forced Oxford Dictionary and the likes to come up with words for fairly regular technology-related occurences. Sample these (mostly conjugation of words):

Favicon – this is the small icon you see in the address bar of the browser while you’re accessing a site or while saving it in bookmarks/favouritizing it. The easiest means by which you can make out which site it is when you have a number of tabs open in a browser.

Freemium – anything from matrimonial sites to downloads (music/movies) and image/video hosting sites are based on it - basic features being free and advanced features being charged for!

Screenager – every household will probably have one now, i.e. a young person/teenager who spends a lot of time in front of the computer screen! (You and me included!)

Infomania – most common mania now - constantly checking and responding to email and text messages

Nonliner – someone who rarely or never uses the Internet, usually because they cannot access it (something we dread to be!)

Robocall – Tired of the pre-recorded messages you hear from Airtel, Vodafone and the others? This indicates an automated telephone call which delivers a recorded message. Next time you pick the phone and realize it’s one of “those” calls, you have a term for it now!

Blackburied – means being inundated and exhausted trying to be on top of all your email 24/7 with your handheld mobile device. For all you know, too much of this ‘berry’ could lead to the real ‘bury’!

In a totally unrelated context, check these other words out!

Baggravation - A feeling of annoyance and frustration at the airport when your baggage has not arrived but the other passengers' bags have. What about waiting for a delayed bus/train, I wonder....

Staycation and Daycation – if you guessed that it has something to do with a ‘vacation’, that’s right. In the first one you stay at home and relax (or maybe visit places close to home); the second one is a short one where the trip lasts one day (no overnight stay).

Decruitment – antonym of ‘recruitment’…yep, ‘laying off’.

Flexitarian - A vegetarian who sometimes eats meat or fish. Hmmmm…so how about non-vegetarians who sometimes eat veg. food? ;-D

Freemale – Though the word suggests something totally different (!), this one’s supposed to indicate a woman who is happy to stay single and independent so that she can do what she wants when she wants. (Who ever came up with this one!!... Some 'male' who didn't like it, I guess!)

Gastrosexuals – Move over metrosexuals and ubersexuals. Meet the gastrosexuals!... A new generation of men who see cooking more as a hobby than a household chore, and use their cooking skills to impress friends and potential partners. Who said that stomach is the way to a man’s heart only!

Sandwich generation - A generation of people who care for the needs of their children as well as those of their own elderly parents. Wonder why they even coined a term like this…it’s been the case, atleast in Asia, for a long while, but yea, this generation may soon be decreasing.

Noughties – If you were to say that World War I was in the 10s, World War II in the 40s, and so on and so forth… how would you talk about the Sept. 11 attacks? It was in the … Clueless? So this word! It refers to the years between 2000 and 2009 which contain a 'nought' (zero), in the same way as other decades are called the 'thirties', 'sixties', etc.

Care to coin more interesting words??

Onam Times

Another Onam has come and gone. And you also realize that there are a few things about it that remain fairly constant... 

• The countdown that begins a month (or more!) in advance for those who can make it back home.
• The disappointment and gloom felt by those who cannot make it back home (and the ensuing jealousy towards those in the above category). Have to be satisfied with Onam celebrations at place of work or study (if any held).
• The highly skewed demand-supply situation as far as tickets (plane/train/bus) are concerned.
• The maddening rush towards all the bus/train stations a couple of days before and after Onam.
• The feeling of relief, comfort and happiness (all rolled into one) when you see your family at home.
• Shopping! (and/or gifting)
• The rise in prices of essential commodities and vegetables.
• The phone calls and SMSs to wish your family and friends a ‘Happy Onam!’.
• People in their new Onam attire (Onakkodi) visiting temples.
• A couple of marriage invites, atleast (it is an auspicious time of the year).
• Traffic blocks and increased congestion in the city/town areas.
• Lack of parking spaces (in the run up to Onam).
• Auto drivers charging higher rates; refusing to take people to some areas (basically, longer trips).
• The rains
• Onasadya and/or Payasam – made at home or parceled from a hotel/caterer
• Visiting paternal/maternal family place and having a family get-together of sorts
• Not to forget, ‘Onam Special’ programmes on TV! :

Movies -

• Some, rightfully called, “Blockbuster” movies being aired
• Movies being aired as “Super Hit”, though you already know that they are “super flops"
• "Mini-screen-il aadyamayi” (First time on the mini screen) movies. And you begin to think that it’s being aired for the first time on ANY screen (mini or mega), because you’ve never heard of such a movie before and can’t even make them out from the trailors!

Interviews - A slew of interviews with politicians, film/serial actors, directors, singers, reality show winners… Topics mainly based in/around Onam of their childhood times OR how they will celebrate Onam this year. Sometimes a normal interview with a couple of questions on Onam. Now-a-days combination interviews are being done. Also one celebrity interviewing another celebrity.

Satires/spoofs/comedy - Mahabali’s visit to the Kerala of today (and his ‘shock’ at how things are!), political jabs, spoofs of famous Malayalam movies in an Onam/political/purely comical manner, parodies of popular Malayalam songs…

Musical programmes - Film songs regarding Onam, or old folk songs and the like

Documentary/Docu-drama - This kind was mostly shown on DD. It’s becoming less popular (ever since the private channels broke into the TV space)

Regular shows with an ‘Onam’ touch - The anchor(s) of the show, participants, judges, audience, etc. come in traditional attire; initial part of the show has talk about Onam; then the show progresses as normal; ends with Onam message and wishes

News -

• News readers/anchors dressed traditionally
• News about increased vegetable and commodity prices
• News about Kerala’s over-dependence on neighbouring States for the vegetables, fruits, rice, milk, etc.
• The mismanagement of/problems in Govt.-owned outlets during Onam sales
• Onam special news – amusing/interesting things being done across Kerala for Onam
• NRIs and NRKs celebrating Onam
• BevCo outdid previous year’s sales for Onam period (!!)

I happened to see more news than I normally would (thanks to my dad, more on that in some other post).

Some news that caught my eye this Onam: 

Tharoor’s (third) wedding – THE marriage of the season. Enough and more of press coverage for the most-written-about-MP of recent times. It was indeed amusing and interesting to see Tharoor and Pushkar look like twenty-something year old lovebirds doing the three pheras, enjoying the Panchavadyam (with Tharoor whispering into Pushkar’s ears), the Guruvayoor visit, etc.

Concern for contaminated liqour – A news channel happened to show briefly about the concern some youth had regarding contaminated liquour from BevCo (Beverage Corporation, for those who MAY not know). It contained some particles or so, the news ran. And I thought – it doesn’t bother them what kind of fruits/vegetables/milk/meat/eggs they consume. These can be highly adulterated/contaminated/treated heavily with pesticides/the result of excessive use of hormones… And you eat it on a regular basis. But this fellow (who got featured in the news item) was concerned about contaminated alcohol. Hmmppphh!!

Increasing sales of liquour – Keralites (men mostly, and now women too apparently) and alcohol are inseparable for the most part. “It is easier for a Malayali to convince others that he does not drink tea than to convince them that he does not drink liquour!” said a Special Report on rising liquour consumption in Kerala (The Week, a couple of months back). I happened to hear a debate sort of, regarding this on TV this Onam, what with BevCo continuously breaking records every Onam season. Instead of examining why this is happening, what is encouraging alcoholism, etc. they were discussing the numbers, purely numbers. Is the increase in sales (amount) due to increasing price of liquour or due to increasing consumption itself? … Whatever.

World’s largest Pookalam (floral carpet) – ‘Snehapookalam’ (floral carpet for love/brotherhood) at Kozhikode became the world’s largest pookalam at an area of 17,622 sq.ft, completed in 3 hrs. The area was divided into 400 grids, and each team was assigned one grid to be laid out. 14,500 kg flowers, close to Rs. 6.75 lakhs…

Increasing trend for parceled Onam Sadya – As years go by, hoteliers and caterers seem to be laughing all the way to the bank. People prefer to buy a sadya rather than prepare one. Lack of time, lack of know-how (younger generation), nuclear families, convenience… reasons are many. If you’re ready to spend anywhere between Rs.125 – 175 (on an average) per head, you can have an Onasadya hassle-free. Hotels and caterers have already started the trend of opening and closing bookings (sometimes even weeks before Onam).

Pothole protest – We’ve heard of several creative ways of protesting against the presence of potholes on roads. Some youngsters decided that for Onam, putting a pookalam around them would convey the message!

Vanara bhojanashala – At a temple in Shasthamkotta (Kollam) every Onam the temple provides a sadya to the resident troupe of monkeys in the area. They even have a separate area meant for it in the temple premise (the bhojanashala). The monkeys know when (day/time) to come, apparently. They come, feast on the sadya laid out for them peacefully (unlike some human counterparts you usually get to see during wedding sadyas), and go away after the sumptuous lunch. How about that?!

Lift Behaviour

Lift – Also called elevators. Commonly referred to as ‘lift’ in India.

Lift behaviour

- Behaviour exhibited by the human species while waiting for, boarding, within and while leaving the lift

Characteristics/Symptoms:

1. Impatience – Seen mostly while waiting for a lift. Subjects are often found frantically pressing the button, though they know well that it won’t increase the velocity of the lifts. In some (extreme) cases it may result in cursing/swearing; opting to use the stairs (if the building is not too tall); or may even manifest itself as point no. 2.

2. Looking at display – Something subjects do constantly waiting for/in the lift.

- Outside – looking at the display to see when the lift will finally reach their floor

- Within – looking at the display to see when they will reach the desired floor

3. Shuffling/Shifting – Observed when there are multiple lifts, usually accompanied by point 2. Subjects waiting for a lift keep shifting their position so as to rush into the one that opens (or could open) first.

4. Awkwardness – Exhibited by subjects who end up in the same lift. Caused due to uncertainty regarding where to look. This dilemma is compounded if the lift contains mirror(s). They either look up (refer to point 2) or look down (at their legs/shoes/the floor…). Looking at the watch, reading something, primping, checking others out, whistling/humming a song, making conversation, etc. are some other commonly seen activities.

5. Forgetfulness – Usually exhibited by those who enter the lift in a rush, while talking, or from a floor in between. They forget to press the button to the floor they intend to go. This may result in increased irritability (and waste of time), as the subject realizes that s/he has missed the floor of choice.

6. Anxiety – Exhibited by those who are wary of using lifts. Those who are accustomed to it may also show mild symptoms when they suspect that there are more people (or weight) than the capacity indicated as ‘ideal’ for the lift.

7. Irritation – Exhibited by some subjects when they realize that there is a lift operator to ‘accompany’ them. Also when they find others interrupting the closure of the lift, as they come in one's and two's and end up entering the lift and finally stalling time.

8. Confusion – Exhibited by subjects when they don’t know which floor they have to go to. (Often occurs when visiting a new building, say a shopping mall/flat; also when the levels indicated are confusing – UG, BF, GF, FF, 1, 2, etc. OR -2, -1, 0, 1, etc. These subjects would tend to disagree with those agreeing to point 7)

Note: This analysis is not exhaustive and is based on a limited study conducted by the researcher. 'Lift behaviour' can vary depending on the height of the building, kind of lift, kind of building, traffic, etc.

Shopping Woes

As strange as that may sound, that’s the case for me. Shopping and Woes? Shopping is supposed to be a ‘feel-good’ factor, right… Retail therapy?? If you want to even begin to comprehend my concerns or sentiments, you need to be above a certain size-range (or personally know such people). Ah, yes…Now you’re beginning to get it.


To whoever who says “size does not matter” – You gotta be kidding me! Have you tried shopping? For clothes? For footwear?? It’s a sad but true fact that many of the stores do not cater to ‘heavier’ or ‘bigger’ people (what those terms mean is completely subjective, I agree). Whenever I go shopping I face this problem (not like I am that huge) – whatever I like is not available in a size that fits me, and whatever is available in my size need not necessarily be to my liking. C’mon! What’s with these people? Can’t they make clothes and footwear for a wider size-range?

When I go shopping for (ready-made) clothes, the first thing I check is for size. What’s the point checking for prints or designs I like, only to find that they don’t have it in my size? Then comes the pain of trials. Yes, pain. Carry a few to the trial room and then see if it ‘fits’. If yes, good. If not, back to the racks. That’s part of shopping for anyone, you might say. But when you have fewer options, each rejection can be more disappointing. And the whole funda about sizes itself is boggling. I mean, they say S, M, L, XL, XXL, but by now you also know that one brand’s XL is L in another. So when you go for trial, thinking it fits you, you are surprised to note that that is not the case. Again, back to the racks. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a little particular about how a dress fits me either - it should not be tight. I mean, I see a lot of heavy women dress really awkardly – things bulging and bobbing… (*shudder*). I’d rather be never seen like that, thank you. And when I see women much heavier than me who’re pretty well-dressed, I think to myself  “where did SHE get clothes from?” and have this inexplicable urge to run upto them and ask “where do you shop?” ! (Of course, it’s just an urge, I really don’t do that!) Come to think of it, not finding dresses your size maybe a little motivational… to shed some weight (a silver lining in the dark cloud philosophy). But then, that’s not going to solve the problem entirely either.

I happened to visit aLL (Future Group’s answer to plus-size fashion). The variety was very limited, as must be the case with many such stores. (I agree that not all clothes look great on heavy people, but not all look bad either). It was actually funny. I first visited Pantaloons and tried on some kurtas. The size (XL) was pretty ok, but maybe the next size could be better. Since that’s all they had, I walked across to aLL (right opposite it). And the lowest size there was big for me. So, where does that leave me? In an ‘uncatered to’ between! If I were to really say, manufacturers are losing out on a huge opportunity (quite literally too) by leaving out a growing segment (the pun is hard to miss, huh?). It is plain to see that many people visit stores and leave them reluctantly only because they can’t find garments their size. And I’m surprised to note that all this while nobody has done anything about it. I’m not talking of opening ‘plus-sized’ stores that are poor cousins to stores who cater to ‘normal’ people. Only if all the Levis, Pepes, Wranglers, Provogues, Pantaloons, Fashion Bazaars and many more would just make/stock outfits in two-three bigger sizes, they’d see a significant difference in their sales. Happily for me, I did find a couple of kurtis that fit me in Lifestyle. (You see how they’re going to earn my loyalty now, can’t you?)

Footwear – ditto. Maybe, it gets worse than clothes. I walk into stores to see these small sandals and shoes that are meant for petite, nimble girls (or women). Hello? What about me? I have large feet (atleast compared to what women are ‘supposed’ to have) and shopping for footwear makes me feel like Big Foot! “I like this, but do you have a bigger size??”, I almost always plead to the salesman. “No”, pat comes the reply, with a sheepish grin. Sigh!

I’d always think to myself, if I were to EVER open a store that sold clothes or footwear, it would definitely have larger sizes. But I don’t see THAT happening. So here I am, waiting for someone out there to try.

(P.S. Believe it or not, people at the other end of the spectrum - those who are too thin, also have ‘shopping woes’. But, of course, I am not the apt person to comment!).

Me Too!

How many times have you heard someone say/describe an incident/experience they’ve had and you go “me too!!”? These are not great things that have any significant impact whatsoever… but all those tiny instances that we come across as part of our daily living and, though we may not realize it, is fairly common. We discover these during conversations… Our “me too!” moments...

These are few of the instances that occur fairly often to me. If you’ve had the same, feel free to say “me too!”...

Waking up with a song in your head  – This happens to me quite often. I don’t know how or why, but some days when I wake up it’s like somebody has already turned on a tape-recorder inside my head – a song is just playing. It’s usually not a song I play often or even heard the night before. It could be random songs – just like that. These are mostly songs that I’ve not heard in a looong while, and I’m pleasantly surprised to find that I’m able to recall the lyrics (because I didn’t even know that I knew the song that much).

Waking up a few minutes before the alarm goes off – Yea. This one pisses me off! I’ve heard that our bodies are the best clocks we have (and I don’t need proof). This is a matter of everyday occurrence. I always wake up a few minutes prior to the alarm, and it irritates me no end. This is because when I open my eyes the first thing I do is to check the time and… Damn! I have 3 mintues to sleep!! Irritating, isn’t it?! If you think that it’s because I’ve a habit of waking up at a certain time everyday…it’s not that. I’ve tried and tested it myself. If you don’t believe me, try it out yourselves. Tell yourself you’ve to wake up at a certain time (and don’t forget to set the alarm, of course!). You’ll most probably find yourself awake before it goes off.
(Disclaimer: It may not hold true for everyone. Sleeping behaviour and pattern varies from person to person.)

Feeling sheepish when you wake up – This one is pretty common. Let’s say you’re sleeping where people are around (your home, a bus, hostel room, railway station/train, etc. etc.). When you wake up you instinctively look around to gauge the situation, see if people are noticing you, avoid eye contact with anybody for a few mintues…All because you feel slightly embarrassed that you look awkward right after you’ve woken up. And then you primp yourself – adjust your hair, pull your dress, etc. … Something to reassure you that you look ‘normal’.

Attending calls in between your sleep – You THINK that you can manage to answer a call in between your sleep. You take the phone and (with your eyes still shut) talk to that person. The person at the other end makes out from your broken voice that you were sleeping, and asks as much. “It’s ok”, you say. You THINK you’ve got what s/he said, all the while fighting sleep and trying to remain awake (let alone being attentive). Then you end the call and go back to sleep. When you wake up, all that you remember is someone called (maybe even that seems like a dream). If somebody asks you what the matter of the conversation was, you manage to give bits and pieces of information, nothing coherent. And things can get worse if somebody had called you with the intention of letting you know about something YOU had to do (because you have no clue what it is!). Happens, right?

(Tip for those who call and find out that the person at the other end has been sleeping: Don’t bother. Cut the call and inform later).

Ideas popping up at the wrong time – Most of the times you have ‘Eureka!’ moments when you’re in no position to jot them down somewhere. It could be those last few moments before you’re going to fall asleep (you're sure you won’t remember it when you wake up); or maybe you are standing in a bus that’s really stuffed, etc. You WANT to put it down somewhere, but cannot and begin to think of ways to commit it to memory or panick.

Starting to do something – You get up and go in some direction or somewhere. Half-way there you don’t even remember why you’re going there, or what is it that you wanted to accomplish. You think some, and can’t figure it out. Never mind, you say. You either go there anyway and do something (else), or just go back; only to be later reminded of what it was. By then, whatever it was cannot be done or won’t make a difference anymore.

Original or not? – This is when you write or say something (smart, witty, interesting, etc.) and then begin to think you’re very familiar with it. Maybe you read it somewhere; or someone told you? You’re not sure whether it’s something you came up with (on your own) or is actually somebody else’s influence. Anyway you’d like to believe it was your idea all the way! ;-)

Of Points and Corners

What’s common to starting a business venture, having a child, and building a home? Sure, it involves considerable thinking and planning (and pangs even!). But something, an urge, more fundamental that accompanies it? Naming. Naamkaran. Simple. ;-)

Most of us are aware of branding and brand names. Those who’ve done their MBA would’ve had classes on it and the importance of having a good name for your product/brand. It should be simple; possibly with two syllables; it should be easy to pronounce; should not have undesirable meaning in other languages; it could possibly convey what the business stands for or indirectly indicate it… Not that I’m going to give you branding gyaan or advice over here. For all these discussions on branding, naming and the like, you’ll find that for some it’s a much more simple affair.

Think about the shops/stores in your area or town. The big ones or the small. Many, you’d notice, are more concerned about running their business and making something out of it, rather than breaking their heads over fancy (and sometimes unpronounceable and seemingly meaningless) names for their shops. That’s the Points and Corners I’m talking about. It’s pretty simple right? Affix a ‘Point’ or a ‘Corner’ at the end of what you sell/do and voila! You have a name. Cloth Point, Stitch Point, Net Point, Cyber Point, Juice Point, Laundry Point… You see! Replace all these with ‘Corner’ too. You’ve another set of names that are good to go (not that these stores will be located near a corner as such). These are the most generic suffixes you’ll see for shop names. There are more. Some of them which I happened to notice are –

• Point, Corner, Centre - Now you begin to wonder whether geometry and naming are connected!
• Café - Doesn’t matter that you don’t sell anything related to food there, it’ll still be called a café. Talking of which, wonder who coined the term ‘Net Café’.
• Shop - Can't get simpler than this!
• Shoppe - It means ‘shop’ and is pronounced that way too (not shop-i or shop-ay), but I guess it gives it a classier touch!
• Mart – of course, made famous by Wal-Mart (you see why they took a simple name)
• Bazaar – made famous by Big Bazaar (ditto)
• Mall - not 'moll' (those who've sat in MRS's class know what I'm talking about!)

I’m always on the look-out for such simple generic suffixes (or prefixes even). If you happen to come across some, let me know!