Obvious

Sly gazes.

Passing glances.

Any steady form of eye contact. Only if she willed it.

She could often feel his ardor course through her whole being.

Away and afar.

Or in close proximity.

Any ruse for the latter.

Just to be around. Her presence.

Comfortable silences. Just being.

Or free-flowing conversation.

Craving for either form of communication.

To unravel the enigma she is. One thought or gesture at a time.

He couldn’t help but convey.

And she couldn’t help but notice.

What is it that they call it?

A spark? Chemistry? Dynamics?

It was so obvious to her, and to him.

And yet never to anyone else around.

Trees

I think that I shall never see

A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest

Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in Summer wear

A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;

Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,

But only God can make a tree.

~ Joyce Kilmer, “Trees"

Seeing

The more often we see the things around us - even the beautiful and wonderful things - the more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds - even those we love. Because we see things so often, we see them less and less.

~ Joseph B. Wirthlin.

Waiting

"For a while" is a phrase whose length can't be measured. At least by the person who's waiting.

~ Haruki Murakami
(South of the Border, West of the Sun)

Offline online

She mused about how many different ways there were to keep in touch these days.

Especially online - one-to-one and one-to-one-but-can-be-seen-by-many. 

Which is why the message is particularly clear when no means seem to "reach" someone.

Oh well.

Quote - Unquote

This quote probably summarizes my take on friendships...

Nobody likes being alone that much. I don't go out of my way to make friends, that's all. It just leads to disappointment. 

~ Haruki Murakami

Affair

Was dating a co-worker ever a good idea?

Was it only physical? Was there no mental connect?

Feeling ecstasy to feeling shame. 

Feeling pleasure to feeling used.

Her mind always vacillated. 

She wished she could find out. 

Only, if he were not married.

Love

Oiling your face means you will love your mother more.

“Would it work the other way around?” wondered 5-year old Malutty, about her muthassi’s* tip.

She poured out a handful. 

And hoped her step-mom would love her more. 

* Muthassi = Grandma (in Malayalam)

Disappointment

She told him that she was getting married.

He said that he wished her well.

She waited.

For the hint of sadness. For that tinge of disappointment.

Which never came.

And that, both, saddened and disappointed her.

Closure

It did not occur to him that ‘they’ were really ‘over’.

Maybe he had trouble accepting it. Or did not believe it.

Not when she said that she saw her future, and it did not have him.

Not when she said that they could still remain good friends… just good friends.

Not when he’d gotten to know from mutual friends that her family had started “looking”.

Not when she happened to casually mention to him that there was pressure on her to ‘settle down’ soon.

Not when she called him up to tell him that she was getting engaged. He remembered the awkward phone conversation when she broke the news to him. He had done the customary ‘congratulations’ bit, but the delay (even if for a split-second) was too obvious.

Not when he saw the engagement pictures splayed all over her profile (and her friends’).

Sitting in that wedding hall, seeing her walk onto the mandap…and into another man’s life. That was the most difficult moment in his life - ever.

To see her standing next to another man.

To see her becoming his.

To see that happiness in her eyes.

To see the scene which he had always imagined of, several times - with her.

He regretted attending the wedding. He wasn’t even sure why he did.

Maybe for the much needed closure. Maybe.

Quote - Unquote

A quote I came across today:

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.

~ Malcolm S. Forbes 

The same can be said about what we don’t have and what we do.

Alappuzha...

...from a recent trip.

Because a picture is worth a thousand words...

© Vijitha Valsalan

© Vijitha Valsalan

© Vijitha Valsalan

Thank You...

... for the Blog Award Keirthana. And those kind words. It was quite unexpected. :-)

Now, I am to do the following:

• Thank the Blogger who nominated you.
• Add the Versatile Blog Award picture to your blog post.
• Share 7 random things about yourself.
• Nominate 15 Fellow Bloggers.
• Inform the Bloggers of their nomination.

The Time Paradox

Memories...

You think of some and remark, "Oh my! I remember like it was yesterday!"

You think of some others and say, "Wow. Seems like ages ago."

The former maybe (chronologically) older than the ones in the latter category. 

Time can speed away, and crawl miserably. At the same time.

Certainty

She was often surprised by how certain she was. About everything. And everybody.

She never could fathom where it came from, or why. She just “knew”.

She knew exactly how things would turn out. She could see the end even before things took off. No whys were entertained. Nor why-nots.

She decided that the colour yellow did not suit her.

She figured that even if she tried her best she wouldn’t make it to the course she wanted to learn.

She didn’t want to leave her job even if she didn’t particularly love it.

She knew that there was no point even if she was interested in someone; not even to see if it could go somewhere, or could be something more.

It was all about being rational and practical. Mostly.

But sometimes she wondered if there was more to this. Wondered if it was because she was averse to risks - very comfortable with what she knew; what was familiar. Or was it the fear of failing? Of rejection? Of dejection? No rocking the boat. Nothing out of the ordinary. A sense of security - which could perhaps be false? She couldn’t really tell.

And yet, she was certain. Even of her certainty.

The Window Pane

You're driving a car.

Or simply sitting by the window looking out at the garden. 

You suddenly notice that the window pane is dirty - it has all these smudges.

And then you realize it. If you're too busy focusing on the smudge, then you really don't see where you're going; you cannot appreciate the beauty of the blooms. And if you're focusing on the road ahead, or the lovely sight of the flowers in that garden - you don't really notice those smudges on the pane; you don't quite "see" them.

You can focus only on one thing at a time. You always have that choice. 

So, what are you looking at - the smudge, or something beyond?

Quote - Unquote

Since it's New Year and all, just wanted to post my favourite quote of all time:


I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.


~ Gilda Radner


Love that phrase - 'delicious ambiguity'.
Happy New Year!

The Wall

You smile at many. You share with a few.

You talk with many. You connect with a few.

Your eyes come across many. But few make their way into your heart.

You’re not comfortable letting too many people into your life. You don’t want many. You want only a few. And you want those few because they mean a lot to you. And you hope they know that (and feel the same way too).

Noticed

She always noticed him. 

He noticed that she noticed. 

She also noticed that he noticed that she noticed him. But that never stopped her.

Her eyes. That look. Not a stare. Not a gaze. Something more. Like she wanted to tell him something, but had made up her mind not to. He never could really unravel what they were trying to convey.

She smiled every time she saw him. Every single time.

He reminded her of someone. That was it. That was all.

Little Things

Little things upset me. They do.

The funny part is - I’m not aware of the exact reason most of the times. It might be something I came across in passing. Something I happened to hear. Something I saw. Something I just happened to realize. It probably sets off “something”.